5 Characters Who Can’t Catch A Break!

Luck can be random and unreliable, determining the course of your life like the flip of a coin. Whether you believe in Luck or not it’s hard to deny that fate has dealt these characters some serious blows. (And not the good kind of blow!)

5. Peter Parker/Spider-Man

Poor puny Peter Parker. This socially inept orphan was a prime target for bullies growing up. I guess it was the ‘old Parker luck’ that eventually led him to be bitten by a spider and be genetically modified as a result. And Yes! While this did turn him into the Amazing Spider-man, Peters choice to become the wall crawler meant his personal life suffered more and more subsequently. He would miss classes, dates, and Oh yeah, Every now and again someone he cared about would be kidnapped or killed!

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All the consequences of being a superhero, right? Well when your 15 it’s a lot to deal with! Juggling school, a social life, and work along with being a full-time superhero seems like too much to ask of a kid. Unlike other junior heroes like Bucky Barnes or Robin, Peter didn’t have a mature and experienced hero guiding his way. (But he got some great selfies!)

Peter’s ‘great responsibilities’ could become too much of a burden when fate has already decided to crush and demoralise you at every turn. Although Parkers bad luck is often used as humour or to drive the story forward I often find myself thinking… Give the guy a break Stan!

4. Sam & Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

Two brothers who can take on the world!… and Hell… and Heaven… and Purgatory! Okay! We get it! They are badasses!

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Committed and efficient hunters, Sam and Dean have a tendency to run into danger more times than Forrest Gump actually runs! What’s striking about their story is that ‘destiny’ (not a stripper) often seems to destroy every chance at happiness that these boys can grasp with their blood stained hands. Between Demons, Angels, asshole prophecies and some severe daddy issues, well let’s just say it’s no wonder Dean drinks and Sam lives in his head.

The pair have been battling the bizarre since they were old enough to walk and it doesn’t seem to slow down, as soon as they destroy one threat, another is right there to take its place. (Damn enemy respawn!) Love, life and a peaceful death seems to avoid the Winchesters like Konami avoid the Kojima question. It’s sad, painful to watch, yet utterly entertaining.

3. Courage (Courage The Cowardly Dog)

All Courage wants is a quiet and peaceful life on the ranch with sweet old Muriel and grumpy but hilarious Eustace.

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Ironically named Courage, this beagle is anything but brave when paranormal and mystical events take place around his home, seemingly on a daily basis. These incidents are often disturbing and creepy for a younger audience. Remember when Courage had his owners lifeless bodies strung up Thunderbirds style? Yeah, unsettling. Despite being a ‘pussy’ (HA!) Courage always manages to save Muriel and Eustace from whatever danger has landed in their back yard on any given day.

What makes Courage even more unlucky is that his owners never seems to notice the terrible danger they are in, this usually adds to his anxiety throughout the episode. His mental instability poses a serious question. Could all these monsters just be strange people from a nervous dog’s perspective? MIND=BLOWN.

2. Isaac Clarke (Deadspace)

Can a middle-aged systems engineer kick ass? Yes he can! Well only if YOU don’t screw up…because then he gets horribly mutilated … Like seriously.

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Isaac Clarke is I would call an unfortunate bastard. Landing on a seemingly forsaken ship with an emergency response unit, Issac quickly learns that the deceased crew reanimate and become the (f*cking terrifying) Necromorphs. The cherry on top of that perfect cake is that all the weapons in his arsenal are either repurposed power tools or mining equipment. (We’re screwed!)

Navigating through dark enclosed spaces, constantly holding down the trigger awaiting your demise, Isaac can come across enemies that have unique ways of killing him, making the process more chilling. But after finding out his girlfriend Nicole tragically met her end on the Ishimura (She’s probably that big vagina looking Necromorph) and finally making his way off the infested ship…. Dead Space 2… Oh for f*ck sake!

1. Kenny McCormick (South Park)

Kenny McCormick’s recurring deaths have a cultural phenomenon. Particularly because he is immortal and almost nobody seems to care or notice when tragedy strikes this poor fourth grader. When Stan yells “You killed Kenny” Everyone chimes in with “You bastard!”. You all do it. Don’t lie!

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His deaths are usually treated as non-canon and he reappears in the next episode like nothing has happened. (Or at least no one asks) But I think it’s safe to say that immortal or not Kenny McCormick is one of the most unlucky characters ever!

He has racked a total of 103 deaths across the South Park franchise. (Almost as much as my PVP deaths in Destiny)

Too bad Princess Kenny! The ‘L’ in your Luck has been replaced by a giant ‘F’

This article was written by Liz McConnon. Liz is a massive fan of TMNT, DC, Marvel, Disney, Studio Ghibli, Pokemon & Gaming.

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